Delta Animal Squad: The Stalking Napkin

Delta Animal Squad

The Stalking Napkin

It was a beautiful seemingly harmless day and all trees were green, yellow, blue, tropical orange, red, and pineapple cherry. There was a lot of fruit in the world that gave most of the animals’ aids. To start out, there was a giant napkin lying, menacingly on the tropical orange grass. It stood there just like an orangutan, even though there is no comparison between an orangutan and stillness, but what the hell, compare them anyway.
There was a chicken eating hay and it seemed like the hay was made of deadly hydrogen; the impossible. “I am like the most anti-climatic chicken in the world and I feel as like I can do anything, but buy those magnificent pricy tampons.” Therefore, the chicken could never have organic sexual abuse. “I was only 8-years old when they checked my rounded neurotoxin like throw-up. It seems it smelt like apple juice, but I was deadly mistaken. I was on edge of reading The Series of Unfortunate Events, when a giant looking napkin started following me. I thought I was absurd, retarded and half-way dead, but in the end, I had some fruit.” The chicken usually had problems remembering the past. The chicken as we know “Clucky” was born mentally retarded in a home of Asian people. Clucky was said to be part of the CCC (Clue Clucks Clan), but Clucky always had a brain of a paper clip, and could never understand why two plus two equaled four. As Clucky stared at the napkin, Pedro came by. “What the hell are you doing?” asked Pedro the man-eating squirrel. “I am looking at a napkin. I think it’s following me, but the napkin has a brown stuff on it and it is getting me sort of curious,” replied Clucky. Suddenly Pedro threw-up, then drank his threw-up, and then regurgitated it back up. “Holy shit, what randomness, and I like it!” Clucky said with emphasis. “Fear the brown stuff,” said the stalking napkin. As soon as the napkin said that, Clucky’s life changed. Clucky was now an officially pissed off chicken. His feather’s turned to urine and his beak turned into a grenade. “Clucky, my home dog, don’t be G’ing with my home dogs. Wait, I think I said that wrong.” Clucky was so pissed off; he turned into a Kellogg’s Fruit Loops Cereal Box and took evasive action. Pedro knew of only one way to get Clucky out of his manly tampon, and that was to rape Clucky. Pedro’s feet turned into giant recycling bags. “Well that was pointless.” Pedro ran to the napkin and started a conversation. “Hi.” Pedro took out his sword and slit his throat. Clucky thought to himself. “You can slit a napkin’s throat; Wow; I am surprised.”
Defeat that day was victory was for Pedro and absolutely no credit went to Clucky, due to his fat ass thinking. Who turns into a cereal box at the last second for evasive action?!?

Enjoy!